tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62562498314425239492024-03-05T19:01:46.330-08:00dream imagine happenDream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-54531181571965601612015-02-25T12:24:00.002-08:002015-02-25T12:28:12.088-08:00Nearly MarchFebruary, dreaded February, is almost over. February has always been a difficult month for me—the holidays are really over, the weather is dreary, spring feels far away, and the clouds mimic the fogginess of my brain. And then there are the viruses and colds that pepper the days and add their own layers of distraction and exhaustion.<br /><br /><div>
Of course, it’s been a spectacularly beautiful February so far on our island, with many days of bright sunshine and blue skies, and an early spring that is coming to life in the blooms on the trees and on the ground. I’m not complaining about that. There ain’t nothing to complain about in that regard. Still, I will admit that even the cloudy days have their own February flavor to them, even in this bursting spring. <br /><br />Entering into March of 2015 surprises me. I have been waiting, wanting, trying to get myself to get focused, and get to work. I have been feeling lost and muddled, trying to grab the moments of clarity when they arrive, but finding distraction wherever I look: in the piles of laundry in the laundry room and our closets, in the toys littering the playroom, in the dishes in the sink, and in my own ideas about how I should direct my energies. Should I find a part-time job on the island to fill my time and fund an early retirement? Should I write another novel? And if I do, will it ever get published? Should I start my own business? Should I do all of the above? The answer too often seems dependent on my level of caffeine intake for the day. <br /><br />The real, true, basic reality of what I most want, and what I have wanted since I was a child, is to be a novelist. A published one, not a writer of novels standing in stacks of unattended paper covered with dust, or hiding on hard drives. The only way to get there is to put my butt in a seat every single day and write something, anything, no matter how good or how bad, and to move on with it. <br /><br />So here I am again. Starting again. This blog has become such a journal about fits and starts, and interruptions. So, then, my goals are this: to write every day. To embrace the reality of bad writing, and to write anyway. And I need to set some page goals for myself. So let's say it has to be two pages a day. No matter what. Even on the kids' days off. They are becoming old enough to let me do it. Too often I find myself avoiding writing because I have set up some unspoken goal for myself that it has to be good writing and if it's not it's not worth it. Which is clearly a paralyzing proposition--why sit down at all, then?<br /><br />To be fair, last year marked my entry back into the world of writing, and it surrounded editing my novel, with very little new work. This year has been interrupted by my own goals for parenting and focusing on the kids while they transitioned into their various school settings. Now I am ready to write again. And also to edit again. The novel needs another major revision. But I want to start something new, and I am going to do that too.<br /><br />Oh, man. The focus. I can feel it turning the corner and finding me again. A friend told me the other day that if I just started writing again, the desire and focus would come back. I can feel their arrival in the din of this coffee shop and in the endlessly pleasing feel of keys beneath my fingers. <br /><br />Sigh. Hello. </div>
Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-77009391499077451772013-04-16T06:40:00.002-07:002013-04-16T06:40:21.238-07:00I wrote it!I did it! I woke up at 5 a.m. and wrote the first chapter! It's a chapter that has been hiding away in my brain for months. I think it's how the novel was meant to begin. The chapter feels complete: 855 words written and ready to be revised. I feel like I'm on the road again.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-9071386207368106692013-03-11T15:16:00.000-07:002013-03-12T22:14:24.331-07:00The early hours<div style="text-align: center;">
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Well. My goodness. It has indeed been over 2-1/2 years since I last wrote here.<br />
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How did that happen?<br />
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Well, let's see. We had a baby, we moved three times (more?), and we finally settled down again and bought a house on my childhood island. And now I want to start writing again. The feel of the keys beneath my fingers is like therapy, or finding a long-lost friend, a friend who knows what to do and what to say, and who is there no matter the weather.<br />
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I want to capture early-morning sunrises while my family still sleeps. I am hoping that will be my time. The silence of those hours is interrupted only by the shrill songs of birds. The view from our house turns pink in the distance, illuminating trees, mountains, water, city skyline. Slowly the day begins its magical interplay between elements.<br />
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We live on an acre abutted against a 10-acre farmland parcel. We are surrounded by trees, although our front yard opens up quite a bit and brings in the sun and the view. I have been eagerly watching the deciduous trees form buds on their branches. I am trying to remember what our yard looks like when everything is leafed-out and the jagged outline of evergreens is offset by the lighter green maples.<br />
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I don't hear cars. Or people's voices. If I listen closely, I can hear the sound of the wind in the branches. It's mainly the birds who fill the hours with their song. Sometimes an eagle pierces the sky, sweeping above and circling its way toward Eagle Harbor where the boats bob in the water and blue herons stand meditatively.<br />
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I have been dreaming about this kind of peace. It helps that Brian just took Cora to school and Brooks is still sleeping, wearing off his night of coughing through an interrupted sleep. This quiet doesn't happen around here more than twice a day--when the children are asleep.<br />
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There is a walk in our neighborhood that I love to go on. It traverses several winding roads through rural grasslands and historic farmhouses. We see farms and chickens, horses and cows, big, well-tended gardens. The horse pictured above is on our walk. The kids always ask to stop and watch her eat.<br />
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And yesterday it was actually<i> still light outside</i> when Brian got home from work. As the days grow longer and milder, I feel us resurfacing, feeling more hopeful. These dark months are always difficult for me. I dread them each year, and yet when I am in the midst of them, it's easy for me to forget how much I miss the light. There is always such a focus on the sun--on its presence, or its coming, or its long-gone status. But just the light filtering through leaves, in whatever form it takes--amber, gray, or lemony--is enough to keep the darkness at bay.<br />
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I do notice a difference in how it feels. Living on an island. The city is lovely, full of lights and activity. But the light here is different. There's less cement and fewer buildings. The light filters through wet leaves and soaks strands of grass, bounces off blue water, and makes the world feel more alive. When I go running through stretches of farmland, or watch the kids biking on dirt trails, there is more freedom, more space to breathe.<br />
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More, hopefully, inspiration to create.<br />
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Writing again. Words, phrases. Small stories. Notes. Anything. It feels good to do this.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-89104150264910363402010-05-20T14:13:00.000-07:002010-05-20T14:29:19.641-07:00A pile of paperWell, I printed out my novel. I have to say that although I thought I would be prepared for the weight of it in my hand, I wasn't. I've never printed out 277 pages before. It felt a bit heady and, well, exciting. It felt good to write the last lines. I've been reading it during C's nap time and making minor edits. The big editing will happen later. <br /><br />Although that has been a fulfilling accomplishment, one that I am still savoring for its timeliness (I so wanted to complete it before delivery), I awoke this morning feeling very low. I think it's because my hormones are high. But, also, it feels like the more difficult moments of life sometimes rise closer to the surface, become more visible. The rest of the time we can hide away in the relative bubble of our own lives, focused on the daily goings-on that affect us and our immediate existence. Last night I learned about the loss of a friend's father and I went to bed with a heavy heart and awoke feeling sad and lost. My friend is pregnant, due in a month, and already lost her mother to breast cancer several years ago. I know of a number of people who are very ill, or battling cancer, or dealing with severe financial strain. Reading the daily headlines over at msnbc doesn't help, either. The repercussions of the current economic crisis splash themselves across the page in hectic reality, and then, too, it seems that we have entered a particularly stormy environmental time filled with earthquakes, disasters, and massive oil spills around the world.<br /><br />I am aware that one of the greatest antidotes to sadness is gratitude. There are many things to be grateful for, in my life and in the lives of my friends and family. And, truly, the view of my daughter as she wandered through the house with her teddy bear this afternoon as she sang him a song before her nap ranks right up there as a reminder of the continuum--the cycle of life and the palpable feeling of watching life beat by, one pregnant moment at a time.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-31693414530716489162010-05-11T17:46:00.000-07:002010-05-11T17:58:10.745-07:00Getting there<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTBYs0cvtuToUR-WHRCQPDnCPPaJutGa9hR4-zAkdhHaQNohTenlabbiuJcGkdi7_0pf4CUMFUzSeR_jbVPZ74F98Z-fM0DnP4Ak32pJSaT5JLPZUiprd0-yilqQoJy6xHnhJvvvV7thjH/s1600/IMG_9720.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTBYs0cvtuToUR-WHRCQPDnCPPaJutGa9hR4-zAkdhHaQNohTenlabbiuJcGkdi7_0pf4CUMFUzSeR_jbVPZ74F98Z-fM0DnP4Ak32pJSaT5JLPZUiprd0-yilqQoJy6xHnhJvvvV7thjH/s400/IMG_9720.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470180482082160866" /></a><br />It's getting close. I can see the finish line. 270 pages written and, I think, about 20 or 30 more to go. Three to five weeks until the little guy arrives. I'm almost there. A baby and a novel. Somehow this feels like this might be the most productive (passively and actively) nine months of my life. Still a ways to go, but this feels pretty good.<br /><br />Things have slowed down lately without the cadence (and the free time) provided by Cora's nanny share. This is our second week without it, and I am finally tucked away in my neighborhood coffee shop again while she enjoys a play date with one of her favorite little girls and our incredibly energetic, fun babysitter--a woman who teaches PE to elementary kids all day long and still has energy to babysit, work at a coffee shop on the weekends, and play soccer several times a week. I left the house listening to Cora and her friend shrieking while they catapulted themselves off the downstairs couch onto a giant pile of pillows, blankets, and down comforters--one of C's most favorite pastimes, as loftily illustrated in the photo above.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-27033993190174138832010-05-04T14:58:00.000-07:002010-05-04T15:20:22.272-07:00MemorialOn Sunday I went to a memorial for my crew coach Senior year. He was also my coach for a short time my Junior year when I rowed as a replacement with the heavyweight JV boat in the San Diego Crew Classics (I was a lightweight for three years, varsity for two of those). It was an emotional day, for a ton of reasons. First, there is no way for me to attend a memorial without needing Kleenex. I went through four sheets. Seeing people cry is enough to move me to tears, anytime. Listening to people cry while saying kind, loving, inspirational things is a heart-filling experience that always makes me brim over.<br /><br />It was also emotionally exhausting to remember high school sports--the strength I used to have, the competitive spirit, the awkwardness of being a teenager, the things I don't like to remember about being young. And I realized how foggy my memory is. There are so many things I don't remember. Faces, yes. Names, no. Erg tests, yes. Timed runs and wind sprints, yes. Races, strangely, not really. I remember feeling so strong and capable, able to run 30 hills and 30 stairs and run Green Lake in under 19 minutes, hold a boat steady on my shoulders, and sit at the starting line with adrenaline flying through my blood. I miss that. I miss seeing the value of hard work in such a tangible way. <br /><br />Dave was a fantastic coach and he tested everyone. He tested me, and he made me a better person. It is rare to be able to say that about someone.<br /><br />"It's not always your height, your size, your weight, a lot of times it's the size of the most important muscle--your heart--that matters." --Dave BaughDream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-44456798039942384672010-04-23T15:59:00.000-07:002010-04-23T16:13:14.217-07:00Cora's first flower arrangement<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaPBCE4qPUeC0xUh8WLccRjHXl1HyNJU2jcuQ3fk281__CPDxfF7Z4TuavNgDAgHWA_c2S6yIRxKUtkLzWzROKVBH4eKEPDj4dFLlFK_WX849DXFtUbZhgo584CUQwRetaB3ZSWGiP9PQT/s1600/Cora_flowers.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 360px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaPBCE4qPUeC0xUh8WLccRjHXl1HyNJU2jcuQ3fk281__CPDxfF7Z4TuavNgDAgHWA_c2S6yIRxKUtkLzWzROKVBH4eKEPDj4dFLlFK_WX849DXFtUbZhgo584CUQwRetaB3ZSWGiP9PQT/s400/Cora_flowers.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5463471654817299282" /></a><br />Cora's aunties helped her pick flowers and arrange them in a bud vase. She loved all the praise for using her small fingers to press the stems carefully into the vase, and took the privilege seriously when she was allowed to carefully carry it out to the table for a fancy dinner of quesadillas (her very favorite meal).<br /><br />She gave my tummy kisses this morning. She likes to say, "Kick for your big sister!" although he rarely cooperates. He's busy right now, doing a small jig in my belly.<br /><br />She's asleep. She had an active morning at Sheri's house while I plugged away at my novel. (I'm nearly 260 pages in and I still have more to go. I just wrote another five pages and I'm ready for a break.) We ate a picnic lunch in the backyard and planted carrot seeds in our garden, then raced around and tickled each other. Well, <span style="font-style:italic;">she </span>raced. I guess I sort of waddled. Hopefully she'll wake up soon so we can go for a walk around the lake.<br /><br />I have been feeling emotional about the changes ahead, about the fact that she will no longer receive my undivided attention. I know it will be a good thing, and that she will handle it fine, but I also know it will be a transition for us all.<br /><br />Last night I felt him kick and I wanted to pour a thousand words of love into his ears. This pregnancy has been distracted and busy and I wanted to explain to him that he will be another great, bright light in our lives, and that we are getting more and more excited by the prospect of meeting him soon. Only 6-8 more weeks to go.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-13554346977790349492010-04-21T13:40:00.000-07:002010-04-21T13:43:04.379-07:00You know you're pregnant when...I've stopped drinking decaf tea and coffee the past couple of days and I am soooo tired. Clearly the 3 percent caffeine that my body isn't good at metabolizing these days makes a difference in my alertness. I tried to write this morning and managed to get out a few pages before staring off into the distance in a trance-like state. I finally gave up and went to the store. <br /><br />And now I'm going to take a nap. <br /><br />Oh, nap. How I love thee.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-21920338723278234662010-04-15T13:42:00.000-07:002010-04-15T14:10:30.539-07:00Oh, BellyThis morning was the first in a long time that we didn't have a play date or event scheduled. Cora and I went to Green Lake and walked around, picking apple blossoms and counting dogs along the way. We ran into a few friends and played at the park. I say "play," but really all it involved was Cora swinging on various swings for over an hour: the big swing, the red bucket swing, the baby swing, and back again. We took a break for a moment to play on the merry-go-round but it was far too passe for her. The swings are where it's at. She's in a major swinging phase, feels very grown-up, and is trying to figure out how to pump her legs.<br /><br />The cool thing is that I plan to walk around Green Lake more often. The weather is improving. I don't have constant contractions. And worries about the baby getting enough oxygen have diminished considerably since Monday's doctor appointment (I'll explain that in a second).<br /><br />My belly is feeling quite large these days: it's a basketball-positioned, right-out-in-front, large and in charge, 31-week-old belly. Phew. I feel huge. And I gained six pounds in 2-1/2 weeks to back up the feeling. Fabulous. (Honestly, as long as the baby is healthy and I'm feeling good, I'm happy. Knowing the path ahead toward being able to run again and having my body back, I can sometimes feel a little, oh, chubbalicious, but that's alright. I can hang, people. It's cool. Just remind me I said that when I stand on the scale two months after delivery and running feels like carrying a backpack of bricks.)<br /><br />I found out some good news at my doctor's appointment on Monday. At our 18-week ultrasound we had discovered that the umbilical cord was implanted on the edge of the placenta, called "marginal cord insertion," which can sometimes result in growth restriction for the baby due to a potential lack of nutrition and oxygen (since the cord isn't implanted in a more secure, central part of the placenta where the majority of blood vessels are). Considering that Cora was only 5 pounds, 13 ounces at birth, I couldn't help thinking, Well, geez, how much smaller can we go? However, the good news is that our 28-week ultrasound presented great statistics, the baby is well within normal ranges, and also the cord is no longer on the edge of the placenta. My doctor was surprised. She said it was pretty cool, it appeared that the placenta had worked to compensate for the issue and had built itself up around the cord. That made me very happy.<br /><br />So, 7-9 more weeks to go. I love single digits! I am so excited to meet this little person. We still have a lot to do to prepare.<br /><br />And, lastly, I'm almost done with my novel. I can't believe I'm finally writing that sentence here. It looks like if all goes well I will, indeed, have a draft before the baby arrives. I have a few more chapters to go, but I can see the end. I'm at 228 pages and anticipate about 30 more. We'll see. I'm getting warmed up here and will soon tuck myself onto our couch and get going.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-9177725919241039222010-04-06T14:12:00.001-07:002010-04-06T14:32:52.969-07:00Baby on the brainI'm starting the 30th week this week. THIRTY weeks? With a baby in my belly? He's kicking all the time these days and I'm definitely getting more uncomfortable. And tired. And excited. And intimidated, too...about birth, about caring for two, about months ahead of crazy, lost sleep. <br /><br />I really just want to meet him. (Not yet, of course, not till it's time. But SOON.) I'd like the next 10 weeks to speed by, but at the same time I feel like we still have a lot to do to prepare. <br /><br />Like put together their shared room. Buy a bed for Cora. Get a double jogging stroller. Buy more cloth diapers. Prepare for lots of poop. <br /><br />Over the next year or so, we also plan to finish out the second half of our basement. If it's possible, we'll add a 4th bedroom which will make our five-year plan in this house more feasible, I think.<br /><br />This year has already felt much more dominated by long-term goals than ever before. Things like four-year-debt removal plans. Remodeling plans. Savings plans. School plans. Writing plans. Career plans. Gardening plans. <br /><br />I think about them all the time. It is empowering. I can see things rolling out before us. Even amidst all the unknowns, there is a certain kind of security that comes from setting goals. It feels good. We've been sorting through old things, cleaning out the basement, throwing stuff away, visualizing our next steps.<br /><br />I think what I need to do is buy a teeny, tiny pair of newborn shoes for a little boy and stare at them for a long while. Maybe then it will really, truly set in that our family will soon become four.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-15085710188509212782010-04-01T14:17:00.000-07:002010-04-01T14:19:24.759-07:00It's been awhile...Ooh, it's been awhile since I posted here. I've been writing. I think I have about 60 pages to go before the first draft is finished. It feels good.<br /><br />And I'm starting my 29th week on Friday. Almost 30 weeks! I'm excited. I can't believe we're getting so close.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-55994410615477640652010-03-15T13:52:00.000-07:002010-03-15T20:25:18.608-07:00A perfect dayI don't usually like Sundays. They seem too squished from beginning to end. I spend too much time thinking about Monday, and often wish I was born with multiple hands to accomplish everything I see that needs doing. Sundays bring that out in me. Everywhere I look, I see a project. Sundays are usually a great day for a local outing <span style="font-style:italic;">away </span>from the house and all the work that beckons. <br /><br />I thought yesterday would be a pretty awful day. I didn't sleep well, waking often and pacing the house, getting drinks of water, checking on Cora, falling asleep to too-busy dreams. But in the morning the sun was shining and the day beckoned with possibility. We decided to go out to breakfast, but as soon as I checked our bank balance and saw how much we've managed to spend over the past couple of weeks on birthdays, outings, dates, babysitters, and $400 garden building materials (including soil and compost), I dug in my heels and made a huge breakfast with all the yummy produce in our refrigerator--scrambled eggs with red peppers, onions, and mushrooms, served over fresh spinach with grated cheddar, roasted potatoes with paprika, toast with butter and blueberry jam, fresh fruit, and coffee and tea. <br /><br />While I whisked the eggs and roasted the potatoes, Brian and Cora played with Play-Doh at the kitchen table. They made trains with wheels and tracks, chug-chug-chugging along. <br /><br />It was so much better than waiting in line. The sun streamed through our kitchen window. I listened to them talk animatedly. We sat down and ate and listened to each other. Somehow, breakfast turned out perfectly--crispy golden potatoes, acres of flavorful eggs, just-browned toast. All of us agreed it ended up being so much better than going out. And we meant it.<br /><br />Afterward, Brian played the guitar and then he and Cora headed out to the backyard to pick spots for our garden beds, and replant our indoor plants.<br /><br />I started cleaning. You might not think this sounds like the beginnings of a perfect day, but hear me out. I cleaned the baseboards, dusted all the furniture, vacuumed under the beds and sofa and chairs, watered the plants, cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. Meanwhile, every time I looked outside I saw Brian and Cora in different parts of our yard, bending over to study bugs, picking flowers, spinning and falling down, transplanting our potted plants and sifting through dirt, scoping out areas for the garden while Cora pointed and offered her opinions. Finally they took a break and rested in Adirondack chairs while studying the bird house and searching for bumblebees.<br /><br />The windows were open, a breeze wafted through the house, everything started to feel organized and clean. By the time I was finished, there wasn't any more dust. I went outside and played with Cora while Brian started building the raised garden beds. I kept getting distracted by the clear view of the Cascades etched in the sky, still partly covered with snow. But in our yard bluebells, tulips, and daffodils are pushing up and blooming everywhere. <br /><br />Soon, the neighbor kids came out in their backyard to see what we were up to. Shortly after, a little girl who lives behind us climbed the fence and we all started playing soccer in our backyard. Then we migrated over to our neighbor's super cool play structure and zipped down slides and swung on swings and played a hilarious game of T-ball. Meanwhile, just over the fence, I was able to see Brian constructing our cedar gardens.<br /><br />By lunchtime we were filled with fresh air and sunshine. <br /><br />It is spring here. It really is. It feels amazing.<br /><br />We ate an easy lunch of leftovers and put Cora down for a nap, and then Brian and I spent several hours working in the yard. He finished the beds and I raked the yard and swept the patio and just generally looked up at the sky and felt happy. There's still a lot to do out there. There always is. We don't bother with the yard during the winter. The lawn doesn't grow, but the weeds do. We have some major weeding to do. Major. But I'm excited about it.<br /><br />The garden beds are arranged and ready to go. We just need to fill them with dirt and compost and plant some seeds. I went to bed reading my gardening book. I'm going to start with some of the easy seeds that don't require indoor starts: carrots, bush beans, radishes, corn, spinach, yellow squash, and potatoes. This week I'll start the ones indoors that need it: cauliflower, lettuce, onions...and a bunch more that I haven't decided on yet. Hopefully more greens, but I can't remember the growing cycle for those.<br /><br />The apple and pear trees are starting to bloom. I'm worried we didn't prune them back last year and thus may have another year of low fruit production, which makes me sad when I think about all the lost apple sauce and apple butter and apple pies. But we'll see. Maybe we'll get lucky.<br /><br />Today, Cora and I sat in the sun and had a picnic, then wandered around barefoot, feeling springy wet grass and moss beneath our feet, and puttering around in the raised beds. We spent a long time listening to the birds and filling the bird feeder with seeds, then sitting quietly on our blanket waiting for them to come. <br /><br />"Shhh, Mommy. The birds are coming," said Cora.<br />"Yes, I'll be very quiet," I whispered.<br />"I maybe see a bird!" she shouted. Then, "Shhh, Mommy. Quiet. The birds are shy."<br /><br />We sat like that for a long time. The sun made us drowsy. Now she's sleeping and I'm going to start writing.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-17044522599583678512010-03-12T14:34:00.000-08:002010-03-12T16:06:23.981-08:00Okay, seriously.Let's be honest. Sometimes being a "stay-at-home" parent is complicated. It's blooming with happiness and contentment on one hand, and rife with scheduling and squeezed personal moments on the other. And there are the goals, the things I want to accomplish for <span style="font-style:italic;">myself </span>and my family. Like, trying to write a novel during 2-hour stretches a few times a week. Or vacuuming the house in the morning and finding crumbs all through the hallway in the afternoon. It can start to feel defeatist. Like, where's the story now? Where did I leave off, anyway? And why bother vacuuming at all? Who the bleep cares whether my house is clean? Why not just live in a hell-hole and call it a day?<br /><br />But I am on page 157. That's something, right? Making it there slowly, but making it there I am, Sam I Am. <br /><br />And the dust bunnies are being held at bay by teeny tiny people carrying itty bitty guns attached to the psychic vibrations of my vacuum, which is calling out to them from the confines of its closet: <span style="font-style:italic;">I want to run screaming through the house and get it allllll! Let me out, the dirt is callllling me! </span> I can hear it shouting now. <br /><br />And things in life, as they are for everyone else, is a series of juggling acts. I am not going to be able to write today because I am making baked macaroni and cheese for a family who just had their second child. I am going to go upstairs and grate the cheese and cook the pasta and enjoy watching the white sauce simmer on the stove. And I'm going to be at peace with that. It is a joyful thing to be able to help friends. I hope the food turns out alright.<br /><br />All the while, my little one will be sleeping, as she is doing now. And I hope I will always remember the feel of her hand in mine as we cross the street. I want to remember forever what it feels like to take her to gymnastics and watch her swing into a pile of foam blocks and crawl out like a wriggling fish. I want her to always trust me when she needs help, like she did this afternoon when trying to walk on the balance beam alone. And I hope that by writing this down I'll always remember her 2-year-old voice today as she said sleepily, "I'm going to wake up and see you in the afternoon." Then tucking her head in my neck she started singing, "I love you in the morning and in the afternoon, I love you in the evening and underneath the moon. I love you so much, mama."<br /><br />Ah, crikey. Does she have <span style="font-style:italic;">any </span>idea? My heart is still lying on the floor in her room.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-42107855098342398522010-03-08T14:24:00.000-08:002010-03-08T15:19:48.162-08:00Confessions<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEienYlwLU3zyoNQWmkxt_P4q8YLhd2upOtpZhr47O0IrfNQ8cSqRSjx3Y-tdp1ezw5dX5NvyAzcJAMIA0IqttKgymzmXHREJAjBm0p4kXonGhE-T8SQfZBXg40QJZy80AW3aMY18M9JFnlf/s1600-h/IMG_1418.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEienYlwLU3zyoNQWmkxt_P4q8YLhd2upOtpZhr47O0IrfNQ8cSqRSjx3Y-tdp1ezw5dX5NvyAzcJAMIA0IqttKgymzmXHREJAjBm0p4kXonGhE-T8SQfZBXg40QJZy80AW3aMY18M9JFnlf/s400/IMG_1418.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446392624423522994" /></a><br /><br />I'm trying to believe that we're going to have one of these in just three months. A lil', wee, curled up, sleepy babe that dozes all day and wakes all night.<br /><br />I am intermittently overjoyed, shocked (even though this pregnancy was planned), overwhelmed, and awash with feelings of guilt because I dread the sleeplessness yet I can't wait to meet him and cuddle him up in my arms, a real, live, small little being.<br /><br />Right now he's kicking at my belly, probably protesting the influx of too much food. I seem to be extremely into eating all the time. Breakfast, snack, snack, lunch, snack, snack, snack, dinner, snack. Um, yeah. I just finished a plateful of salt and pepper ridge cut potato chips. They were delish, but not exactly full of the nutrients my growing babe really needs. Fat, salt, starch, yes. Vitamins? I'll have to get back to you on that.<br /><br />I've also been distracted by how to accomplish a shared room with a 2-1/2-year-old and a baby. Granted, we're not going to attempt the shared room until the littlest is four or six months, but still. Phew. It's intimidating. I have to keep reminding myself that if all else fails, we can move downstairs and put the two kids in separate rooms upstairs. I've staved off anxiety by flipping through a recent spring copy of Pottery Barn Kids, finding peace in the uncluttered representations of perfect shared room bliss. All the combos of pinks and blues and toy boxes and loveliness makes it all look so idyllic.<br /><br />I'm all for shared rooms. I think it's a great way to get kids to bond and learn important lessons about sharing and boundaries. But the wake-all-night sleep pattern of a newborn and the uninterrupted sleep habits of Cora feel highly at odds with each other. <br /><br />Still, somehow if I focus on the idea of decorating the room for functionality and harmony, I feel better. I'm not thrilled about painting the room a third time in just a few years, but I feel like it would be a good way to jump start the process. Plus I really want Brian to paint a mural on one of the walls.<br /><br />Aside from general young family angst, I have a few things I need to get off my chest:<br /><br />1. I haven't written anything in my novel for TWO WEEKS.<br /><br />2. One day, instead of writing, I watched <span style="font-style:italic;">Cutting Edge 3</span> while Cora napped. Yes, in case you are wondering, that <span style="font-style:italic;">is </span>the third in a series of teen ice skating dramas. Don't ask why I chose it. It's enough that I am confessing it to you.<br /><br />3. We spent nearly $1,100 on food in February, not counting nearly $300 on going out to eat.<br /><br />4. I recently read (in a magazine in my doctor's office) that cell phone use while pregnant and during young years is linked to a 54% increase in behavioral problems, major depression, and messed up brain waves in kids. It's caused me to feel a bit obsessed and worried about how much I used my phone for conference calls and chats while pregnant with Cora. I think I'm officially going to get a pay-as-you-go phone in April when our two-year contract is up with AT&T. I even turned off the wireless on our modem because supposedly that is bad for their brains, too.<br /><br />5. I have been looking on <a href="http://www.redfin.com">Redfin </a>lately. (That's a real estate site.) I'm committed to staying here, but I still like to go there and look at big houses on big lots in areas where I don't think we want to live. Let's face it, I have a problem, people. It's better if I just don't go there, but I do. I'll have to work on that.<br /><br />6. We are putting in 64 square feet of raised bed gardening space in our backyard and I'm sooo excited about gardening with Cora and harvesting good food. I'm even excited about <a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Can-Food">learning how to can</a> what I hope will be an over-abundance of good produce. However, I am intimidated about growing starts or mapping out how best to use two 4x8 beds, and how to manage Seattle weather. I mean, it was nearly summer on Saturday, 60-degrees and sunny and blue blue blue. Today it snowed. Nothing stuck, but still. Snow? Now? After the crocuses have shot up and the cherry blossoms have started their snowflake descent on our lawn?<br /><br />7. I miss my body. I miss running and wine and braxton-hicks-free living. I miss feeling in charge of my life.<br /><br />On the budget front, one thing I've noticed is that January's thrifty days provided some shopping training. Instead of anticipating a cart bursting with hundreds of foods and flavors, I've started to get a better sense of how to walk out of the store for under $100 a week. Along with our CSA deliveries, that means that we might be able to come in at under $150/week, which is great. More on that soon.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-28219076561735611362010-03-03T13:50:00.000-08:002010-03-03T14:01:09.636-08:00Conversation with Cora<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu4BMCUubSi1tv1BoCJWvkkoQETfurCjJvWw7hfl-zDBSIxs7xMqQssh58EqJ8L7pT4TAqw1ls7Um6Lg77y1lQceKWD2JaHP2cRmKpW7Z67k_7-M82qYWZQfiO0937S_P4SeUneF1hrh2d/s1600-h/IMG_9140.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu4BMCUubSi1tv1BoCJWvkkoQETfurCjJvWw7hfl-zDBSIxs7xMqQssh58EqJ8L7pT4TAqw1ls7Um6Lg77y1lQceKWD2JaHP2cRmKpW7Z67k_7-M82qYWZQfiO0937S_P4SeUneF1hrh2d/s400/IMG_9140.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444530677286964994" /></a><br /><br />On the way home today, Cora and I shared a little conversation. This is how it went:<br /><br />Cora: Do you want to talk about jungle animals? (She's learning about these in her nanny share.)<br />Me: Sure! That sounds like a great idea. I love animals.<br />Cora: OK. Um. Elephants. Giraffes. Flamingos--they're jungle animals. Lions. <br />Me: Oooh, those are all really cool animals. Did you talk about those today? What did you learn?<br />Cora: Yup. We did. And horses and dogs, too. Kitty cats.<br />Me: Hmm. Do you think horses and dogs and kitty cats are jungle animals?<br />Cora: Maybe sometimes. <br />Me: Oh, OK. I guess you're right. They can live in the jungle sometimes too.<br />Cora: That's the end of the story.<br />Me: Hmm?<br />Cora: I'm all done with the story. That's the end.<br />Me: Oh. Well, that was a great story! Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you're learning about animals.<br />Cora: Yes. Mom, you know what?<br />Me: What?<br />Cora: When I am a big sister I am going to sing Lullaby and Goodnight--like that, hum de hum dee dee dee--to my little brother.<br />Me: That will be a wonderful thing to do with your little brother. He will really like that. You are going to be a great big sister.<br />Cora: Yup. I am.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-23258479589963613732010-02-24T13:43:00.000-08:002010-02-24T14:35:29.988-08:00Intention vs. Reality<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmp6spzSx1rmSMybDWJsQQxdnAVQ02ZE246lg6VCr2nbrUksWHWBEbzFLG8P0-aaD6CNMtR1xv0MlUZiL0kR_HfGMlsXzHW-nZOI_TzDQLgv_MSSFGhr-Jp6IHRzDASEI7oMaH75RCOweO/s1600-h/IMG_8493b.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 263px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmp6spzSx1rmSMybDWJsQQxdnAVQ02ZE246lg6VCr2nbrUksWHWBEbzFLG8P0-aaD6CNMtR1xv0MlUZiL0kR_HfGMlsXzHW-nZOI_TzDQLgv_MSSFGhr-Jp6IHRzDASEI7oMaH75RCOweO/s400/IMG_8493b.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441941754084939874" /></a><br /><br />I threw out my back last Friday, making it the fourth time it's happened since I first did so in early 2007. Which makes me realize that it could be becoming a chronic problem, my Achilles heel. The problem is that I can't do anything when it happens--can't do errands, clean the house, play with my child, write, cook, get outside...nothing. I have to just lie in bed or hobble from one room to the next before collapsing in pain. It's ridiculous and debilitating, and it can feel very discouraging, perhaps even more so this time around because I couldn't take any pain killers or lie on my back while pregnant. <br /><br />I felt pretty mopey this weekend, at times downright depressed. It didn't help that it was one of the most beautiful weekends we've had all year--sun streaming through the windows and a warm breeze blowing the curtains into giant, billowing skirts. Granted, it turned out to only be four days of relative difficulty, but it made me reaffirm my goals to get back into shape as quickly as possible this summer following the birth of our baby. And do all the things that worked last time to help support my back--acupuncture, chiropractic, lots of stretching, start running and hiking again. Maybe I'll also try yoga.<br /><br />I hate not being able to do anything. I hate not being an active parent. I hate hearing Cora say, "Mommy's back is hurting. Mommy's sick." Ugh. I don't want to be that person.<br /><br />Also, our budget is <span style="font-style:italic;">completely </span>out the window this month. Completely. We're just going to have to start fresh in March because I have given up even trying to track our food spending. I'll just wait till the end of the month and tally it all up and wish we hadn't spent as much.<br /><br />Which brings up an interesting point. I've enjoyed not worrying about it. I've enjoyed just going out and picking up something from the store that sounds good and going home and eating it. It's a feeling that is diametrically opposed to how inspired I feel when we're living according to a simple, strict budget, like we were last month. More plastic bags are collecting in our recycling. More packaging is going into the garbage. I noticed this afternoon that for the first time in weeks some of our produce was going bad. Granted, it was a bag of spinach I'd designated for a gnocchi recipe that I couldn't attempt making from bed, but still... <br /><br />It made me wonder, what side am I on? The simple, community-minded, conscious eater who enjoys cooking everything from scratch, feeling ingredients between my hands and enjoying the process as much as the product? Or the convenience-seeking flavor finder who would like to browse through a world of gastronomic delights created by other people at substantially higher price to me and the planet? <br /><br />I'd like to be the former, but in truth I am both. I woke up this morning wanting to go to the French countryside. Who knows why, maybe I dreamed of France last night and the images seeped into my psyche, or maybe it was because a trip to France is very different from being bed ridden with a backache, or maybe a trip to France is simply always an attractive option that doesn't need any justification. Regardless, I woke with images of a country cottage near a cobblestone village. I imagined waking with our family and gathering our baskets and bags, and walking down a country road to the tiny town, browsing various shops and outdoor markets for perfectly roasted coffee beans, rounds of golden cheese, braided bread, local produce. <br /><br />I can imagine enjoying doing that nearly every day--here, or abroad. If I lived near Pike Place Market, it's likely you could find me looking through the stands every afternoon and coming home with a little bit of everything--fresh herbs, a surprising fruit, seafood, fresh poultry, as many vegetables as I could carry. <br /><br />Next month, I'm going to have to start fresh. I'm not sure what the budget will be. I think I'll try to just spend $100 per week on groceries, outside of the $40 we spend on CSA deliveries.<br /><br />Have I mentioned lately how much I love our daughter? I don't think I have. But it must be mentioned before I sign off for the day. I can't believe we created her. I can't believe she exists. She is growing up so quickly. Yesterday as we drove downtown she made up a song that she sang in various iterations for a few miles, making me grin and giggle: <br /><br />"I like my mommy, I like my house, I like dogs and kittens and cheese, I love my mommy, I love my daddy, I love animals, I love to wear my shoes." <br /><br />Then she said, "Mommy! I have a bird in my hands!"<br />I asked, "Where did you find it?"<br />"Right here in the car!"<br />"What color is it?"<br />"It's blue."<br /><br />She also found a small brown bird and they all had an animated conversation together. Then they flew away.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-63136259498984338712010-02-16T15:40:00.001-08:002010-02-17T09:37:13.827-08:00Finding inspiration--and holding on<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsUFmrhAP5Bse2-Wy5kMdJkJU2SXwz8NNjThiFFmCOGW7LBKPMKnd2TnnTACbIs2LGoBoaxr_r6DHnLiJF6H2waHNVge7aTuwusfHbo16ugMtX79tvG7RkbLjAgm7rx8UdM1cQWP3zFMzS/s1600-h/IMG_8600b.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 292px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsUFmrhAP5Bse2-Wy5kMdJkJU2SXwz8NNjThiFFmCOGW7LBKPMKnd2TnnTACbIs2LGoBoaxr_r6DHnLiJF6H2waHNVge7aTuwusfHbo16ugMtX79tvG7RkbLjAgm7rx8UdM1cQWP3zFMzS/s400/IMG_8600b.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5438997382063036930" /></a><br /><br />Our budget went out the window last week. It's because I didn't plan--no menu, no blogging about it, no strict rules for myself. <br /><br />And I discovered something funny. If I'm not accountable to anyone, it's easy to let the rules slip. It seems I'm accountable to you. Brian didn't care. He was all for going out to dinner and spending money all weekend. When we're both feeling weak, it's over. We enable each other.<br /><br />That's OK. We're starting fresh this week. We'll see how it goes.<br /><br />And next month we're starting the next phase: spending $2,000 per month on student loan debt. Wish us luck. It's hard when I consider the other things I'd like to do with that money, but when I imagine <span style="font-style:italic;">paying down our student loans until they're PAID OFF</span>, I feel better.<br /><br />Also, I've been feeling creatively rejuvenated. Brian and I seem to fill our spare time--especially our walks--with discussions about creativity and stories, and it makes me so happy and inspired. I was talking with Brian last week and determined that every spare minute I have should be spent writing my story. He encouraged me to stop writing here if I find it too distracting (which I sometimes do). I think maybe I just need to tone down my obsession with food and budgets and reach an easy pace with it all.<br /><br />I feel the approaching day of our son's birth in June as an increasing thrill--and deadline. <br /><br />I want to finish a draft before then. Can I do it? I don't know. I've set these goals for myself before and perhaps I am always too aggressive. It's taken me seven months to get to 140 pages, so can I reach the end by June? I'd like to think so but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment and feelings of failure.<br /><br />So. 140 pages and climbing. Another writing session tomorrow morning, more nap time throughout the week, a chance to get closer to my goal. <br /><br />Regardless of that, I'm taking a break and planning out this week's meals based on our Full Circle Farm produce delivery:<br /><br />1 each Cauliflower <br />3 each Hass Avocados<br />1 bunch Green Kale <br />1 each Cucumbers<br />1 each Bunched Carrots <br />6 each Braeburn Apples *<br />1.5 pounds Baby Red Beets FCF <br />6 each Navel Oranges<br />1 each Green Leaf Lettuce <br />6 each D'anjou Pears *<br />0.66 pound Shiitake Mushrooms * <br />1 each Mangos<br />0.66 pound Baby Spinach <br /><span style="font-style:italic;">FCF </span>= Grown at Full Circle Farm <br />* = Grown in the Pacific Northwest<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Tuesday:</span><br />Lentil-rice pilaf and roasted vegetables. (I love roasted cauliflower.)<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Wednesday:</span><br />Dinner with friends at their house.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Thursday:</span><br />Black bean chili and cornbread.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Friday:</span><br />Stir-fried shiitake mushrooms, chicken breast, and kale, with steamed rice.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Saturday:</span><br />Handmade rolled quesadillas with chicken, onions, cumin pintos, fresh tomatoes, baby spinach,and guacamole. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Sunday:</span><br />Roasted beet and baby spinach salad and salmon OR spinach potato gnocchi. (I'm excited to make the gnocchi--the recipe arrived in our CSA box and it sounds delicious.)Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-8190393527856857942010-02-09T14:28:00.000-08:002010-02-09T14:50:57.785-08:00Hiking<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjosR9u3TPNO5GonqP7gFguWy_QARbrxiYAIptoIu1dARZtVru_re4EnVqtJQ6EmexsmaYTL9qJW1d64jGe3Op4aT2V3yKXuua9FZk57HbZZ-980ipdbcZyB1lEetsi5ur8q19EUPGwg7fm/s1600-h/IMG_9114.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjosR9u3TPNO5GonqP7gFguWy_QARbrxiYAIptoIu1dARZtVru_re4EnVqtJQ6EmexsmaYTL9qJW1d64jGe3Op4aT2V3yKXuua9FZk57HbZZ-980ipdbcZyB1lEetsi5ur8q19EUPGwg7fm/s400/IMG_9114.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436377221560241026" /></a><br /><br />This is one of my favorite recent pictures of Cora, taken near <a href="http://www.trails.com/tcatalog_trail.aspx?trailid=HGW049-078">Twin Falls</a>, an easy hike in the North Bend area. She spent most of the trip in a backpack, but took full advantage of snack time to roam around and use her fancy hiking stick.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-15565709896579149732010-02-02T14:44:00.001-08:002010-02-02T19:48:02.346-08:00El Nino Tuesday...with pictures, a budget, and menu<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikS8GawvZfe3dWXflwlsAgmCfwGwfIgvDKah6il7Dz_lZvzSZFs1Rgp4PXaDh4WOaZdpaw2iM61SIvxNdvy22iOfKjika8qW6zc8aHpWMqyiZPIycHNVnK-IQQHaLyTgmyrEeyJd0saDgc/s1600-h/IMG_9192.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikS8GawvZfe3dWXflwlsAgmCfwGwfIgvDKah6il7Dz_lZvzSZFs1Rgp4PXaDh4WOaZdpaw2iM61SIvxNdvy22iOfKjika8qW6zc8aHpWMqyiZPIycHNVnK-IQQHaLyTgmyrEeyJd0saDgc/s400/IMG_9192.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433781821214293666" /></a><br /><br />Unlike this picture taken last week after we received our Full Circle Farm CSA delivery, our fruit bowl is looking rather sad today. That's the thing about waiting until Tuesday for a produce delivery--you can find yourself rustling through eight limes and an apple in search of a little snack. Our vegetable drawers are looking equally dismal: five lonely carrots thumping about in the bottom drawer, and a few heads of romaine trying to look brave. <br /><br />I guess it's one way to make Tuesdays take a walk on the wild side. I feel like it's Christmas today. I'm rubbing my hands together in glee, waiting for our produce to arrive.<br /><br />Cora's sleeping and I should be, too. I'm recovering from a cold. It could be me, but I think it sucks to be pregnant, sick, running around with a toddler, AND not be able to take any kind of medicine. But anyway. Here I am. Instead of napping soundly, I'm going to write about food again. Which is becoming a trend, I admit. It's not that I think I am going to permanently veer into the world of food blogging, I'm just interested in this right now. I think it's contagious. In fact, as I was tucking Cora in for her nap, she drowsily looked up at me and said, "Mommy, someday soon we're going to have a garden."<br /><br />One reason she's so excited about having a garden is because of a story called <span style="font-style:italic;">First Tomato</span>, by Rosemary Wells (found in her book, <span style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Voyage-Bunny-Planet-Rosemary-Wells/dp/0803711743">Voyage to the Bunny Planet</a></span>). In it, Ruby has a difficult day at school and daydreams about the Bunny Planet on her bus ride home. She flies to the Bunny Planet, where her mother asks her to pick the first tomato from their garden. Ruby puts on boots and a coat and runs outside by herself with a basket, where she harvests vegetables and the very first, red tomato from the vine. Her mother makes her First Tomato Soup "because she loves her so." I sing Cora a song based on the book and we've talked about going out to the garden and picking our very own food. I like that it is something she considers before drifting off to sleep.<br /><br />We're all excited about the prospect of filling our fruit bowl with apples and pears from our trees, and bringing in baskets of green beans and peas, carrots and tomatoes and lettuce and broccoli and all the good things we hope to harvest from our garden. We're building the raised beds this month and hope to plant our first starts in early March.<br /><br />But I'm getting ahead of myself. Ahem. I meant to quickly log on to show you a few pictures because, well, my blog is dreadfully bare of them. I'm trying to be better about that. So here goes. <br /><br />Today we were supposed to meet Brian for a picnic to celebrate a sunny, El Nino Tuesday. Just as we were about to jet out of the house with our tasty wares, he called and told us he was still in a meeting. So we unwrapped our sandwiches and plunked down our various containers of fruit and puffs and raisins and had a picnic in our kitchen. Here's Cora sampling the grapes:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1Sr6WfiIQ3toUtQ2LXNgKuxfoscmdFgXg05GozJ-sZ9jVaFAGDta6zV8RXdGQc0_szShHvi0YKSoMHQ_EFS5HPO1yvt6cvw9Lzfs0nzuxK7HFrWEJD9__Xbw9zqNxR0PBY5yuwOn28twY/s1600-h/IMG_9209.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1Sr6WfiIQ3toUtQ2LXNgKuxfoscmdFgXg05GozJ-sZ9jVaFAGDta6zV8RXdGQc0_szShHvi0YKSoMHQ_EFS5HPO1yvt6cvw9Lzfs0nzuxK7HFrWEJD9__Xbw9zqNxR0PBY5yuwOn28twY/s400/IMG_9209.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433784048798814562" /></a><br /><br />And this is where I might make you laugh. That is, if you're one of those normal people who has no experience with gluten-free bread. The thing is, if you're accustomed to buying gluten-free bread at the store, you know the drill: you have to toast it to make it taste edible. That's how my life has been since I was 12. However, fast-forward to these last three months of baking my own bread, and you might stumble into my kitchen and wonder why one earth I'm taking pictures of my sandwich:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIAV76lWBcDyU0wILN3CEsSjM9XPEec5IQEpdxR7uCYeL2CS5GgU1Z8kjcN5tBRzUg7uIrvGDM6dMXzhgeBIoTwlPwoxm0gyUHB-bUMwd44Roc8V3ycvEpG7kwAkYjoDhAO0r11T5U-_H4/s1600-h/IMG_9211.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIAV76lWBcDyU0wILN3CEsSjM9XPEec5IQEpdxR7uCYeL2CS5GgU1Z8kjcN5tBRzUg7uIrvGDM6dMXzhgeBIoTwlPwoxm0gyUHB-bUMwd44Roc8V3ycvEpG7kwAkYjoDhAO0r11T5U-_H4/s400/IMG_9211.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433785065023174370" /></a><br /><br />I didn't plan to take these pictures. I admit they're not the most artful, or in focus, or perfectly arranged, but they're real. They were quickly unwrapped and photographed just so I could post them here. But you do see, right? It's all there: mustard, jack cheese, tomato, romaine, stacked turkey, mayo, a sprinkle of black pepper. It's not just because I'm pregnant, I don't think, that I took such joy in eating this delectable little bit of goodness. I seriously thought I'd gone to heaven. I made the bread yesterday and it's soft and filled with seeds and gluten-free oatmeal, and it tastes hearty and soft and absolutely perfect, and it's not toasted, and it just makes me happy. I've been tinkering around with a couple of recipes and I'll post one for it someday soon, I just want to make sure it works every time. (In the meantime, if you're dying for delicious GF bread, look to <a href="http://gfmum.wordpress.com/category/breads/">this delicious recipe by Gluten Free Green Mommy</a>.) It makes me happy to cut up a sandwich into pieces for Cora's little hands, too: <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiYtHPO2_6rzQP5IqXL7nXEfpG1yx4fk-KwiTqk_HNgEqdTAaYfkkeZnCvYzo_cBWfdqAcj8o5eu9B_QdlUx_Eo8b6m6s53oLb0eeDVtJ8iYF5uh5tgrUnBXLV6HAlFNud953QM5gILnbr/s1600-h/IMG_9210.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiYtHPO2_6rzQP5IqXL7nXEfpG1yx4fk-KwiTqk_HNgEqdTAaYfkkeZnCvYzo_cBWfdqAcj8o5eu9B_QdlUx_Eo8b6m6s53oLb0eeDVtJ8iYF5uh5tgrUnBXLV6HAlFNud953QM5gILnbr/s400/IMG_9210.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433785895456920946" /></a><br /><br />After our lunch, we tramped up to our park and I watched Cora race around in the sun. She was happy to swing for a full 10 minutes, which is unusual. I think it was because she was busy soaking up the sun.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">JANUARY BUDGET UPDATE</span><br />Alrighty. We spent about $650 on groceries (including food and household supplies like dish soap, sponges, shampoo, toothpaste, and pull-ups) in January. We went out to two lunches and one dinner together, and Brian went out to about four in all with colleagues and friends. We both bought coffee and tea, too, on more than several occasions. I haven't added up the cost of those outings line by line, but I think they all add up to about $120. This is most definitely a <span style="font-style:italic;">significant </span>savings over what we were spending last year.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">FEBRUARY BUDGET GOAL</span><br />This month I hope to spend at or under $600 on groceries. I've already spent $280 on a couple of big trips to Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, and we're fairly well stocked on the basics. We've bumped up our CSA delivery to the Family size (total monthly cost: $156), which I hope will give us a bit more to work with each week, and I plan to keep my weekly trips to the store very minimal--to purchase dairy, poultry or fish, and some kind of "treat" to round out the week. This could be sliced turkey for sandwiches, a chocolate bar or fancy cheese or wine, additional produce, or something uber-prepared to make a few meals more easy. We have about $150 to portion out over the next four weeks, or about $40 each week. Does that sound crazy? I don't know. I'm curious. <br /><br />As you know, I plan all our meals around the weekly CSA delivery. This week I had a slightly more difficult time planning the menu, and I realized it was because our delivery was missing a winter green (like kale, chard, collard, etc.). I love hearty greens. And we're out of onions. So I purchased these items through Full Circle Farm's Green Grocer, as indicated below. (I bought $3.50 worth of garlic through the Green Grocer a couple of weeks ago and received eight lovely heads of garlic. I was impressed.) <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Here's this week's CSA delivery:</span><br />0.75 pound Snow Peas<br />2 each Golden Bell Peppers<br />1.75 pounds La Ratte Potatoes FCF<br />3 each Avocados<br />0.66 pound Baby Spinach<br />1 each Romaine Lettuce<br />1 each Celery<br />1.5 pounds Roma Tomatoes<br />0.66 pound Cremini Mushrooms *<br />6 each Braeburn Apples *<br />6 each Navel Oranges<br />6 each Fuji Apples *<br />5 each D'anjou Pears *<br />*Grown in the Northwest.<br /><br />Items from the Green Grocer:<br />1 bag Green Kale $3.49<br />1 bag Yellow Onions * $1.49<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Here is this week's menu:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Monday:</span><br />Pasta salad with romaine, tomatoes, mushrooms, onions, and chicken sausage. (And leftover turkey chili for those who want it.)<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Tuesday:</span><br />Stir-fried snow peas, chicken, Cremini mushrooms, and baby spinach, with a ginger-garlic-tamari sauce; and steamed Jasmine white rice.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Wednesday:</span><br />Party/dinner with friends at their house.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Thursday:</span><br />Dinner with a friend at our house. Soft homemade GF flour tacos with Mexican brown rice, refried pinto beans, roasted mushrooms, peppers and onions, guacamole, romaine lettuce, black olives, Jack cheese, and salsa. (Make this in stages so it’s not so work-intensive.)<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Friday:</span><br />Chicken Caesar salad and roasted potatoes.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Saturday:</span><br />Salmon noodle casserole with green peas, and apple-blueberry cobbler.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Sunday:</span><br />Toasted buckwheat (kasha) pilaf with sunflower seeds, and sautéed kale and chicken in garlic and olive oil.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-14940905760328694822010-01-28T20:02:00.000-08:002010-01-28T20:47:58.359-08:00An Insight Into Local HungerPlease take a moment to check out <a href="http://glutenfreegirl.blogspot.com/">Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef's</a> delicious, inspiring blog, especially <a href="http://glutenfreegirl.blogspot.com/2010/01/eating-on-18-day.html">this week's post</a> that discusses the maximum food assistance for individuals living in King County. <br /><br />That's $7/day.<br /><br />For a family like us, or for Shauna, Dan, and their little bean, the maximum allowed is $18/day. That's $540/month.<br /><br />The comments on Shauna's post are equally inspiring and informative. Give them a look, too. You'll be glad you did.<br /><br />Oddly, $540 is just around the amount I'd like to spend per month. Why? Because I think that's all we need. I think we can eat well--organically, locally, deliciously--on that amount. But I am deeply grateful that it is a <span style="font-style:italic;">choice</span> for us, an exciting challenge, a health investment, a way to accelerate our student loan repayments. Not a necessity. Not a do-or-die situation. Not scrounging for change or eating food that is nutritionally compromised. There are so many people who are hungry tonight--not just in third world countries, not just in the devastation of Haiti, but somewhere in your own neighborhood. And they're trying to eat on less than that.<br /><br />I remember counting change with my mom during one of our more haunting episodes into her newly single motherhood, just post-separation from my dad, trying to figure out how to buy some food. We had to live on assistance for a brief time, and I remember it being so difficult for my mom to deal with that reality. I didn't care. I was too young to mind. But I never went hungry. I never got home and looked in an empty refrigerator or tried to make tomato soup from ketchup. There was a rule in our home that we ate for good health. It was my mom's best health insurance plan, she said. We were vegan at the time, which certainly helped financially. In our house, food was our first priority. <br /><br />It has to be.<br /><br />Just think of it. Hunger. Kids, adults, elderly. There's nothing like looking at the world through empty, hungry eyes. Perspectives shift. Faith fails. <br /><br />I feel grateful tonight. And I am inspired to give to our local food banks on an ongoing basis.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-21800430816638355412010-01-28T15:02:00.000-08:002010-01-28T20:35:22.086-08:00Weekly Menu and Salmon & Potato Salad RecipeWe just switched to a Family sized CSA produce box for delivery next week. This week we received another Standard size. I am pleased with the service. In fact, there has consistently been such a vast improvement over our first order that I think we'll stick with Full Circle Farm. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Here's what we received from Full Circle Farm this week:</span><br />1 bunch Broccolette <br />2 each Red Bell Peppers<br />1 pound Red Thumb Fingerling Potatoes FCF <br />1 pound Roma Tomatoes <br />1 each Bunched Orange Carrots <br />0.33 pound Baby Spinach <br />1 each Red Leaf Lettuce <br />0.4 pound Cremini Mushrooms *<br />3 each Comice Pears *<br />4 each Fuji Apples *<br />4 each Braeburn Apples *<br />4 each Navel Oranges<br />*Grown in the Northwest<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Here's this week's menu:</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Monday:</span><br />Indian food at Bengal Tiger on Roosevelt. Yum! <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Tuesday:</span><br />Quinoa and brown rice pilaf and sauteed broccolette with soy sauce, green beans and tofu.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Wednesday:</span><br />Baked salmon, steamed green beans, and red potato salad with red peppers and fresh baby spinach dressed in an olive oil-garlic-herb vinaigrette. (See below for recipe.)<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Thursday:</span><br />Soft tacos with whole garlic-cumin pinto beans, chili brown rice, baby spinach, roma tomatoes, black olives, jack cheese, and roasted chili and tomatillo salsa.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Friday:</span><br />Cannellini bean and pasta soup.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Saturday:</span><br />Dinner with friends. Homemade pizzas with GF and wheat crusts, Italian chicken sausage, red peppers, roma tomatoes, black olives, crimini mushrooms, yellow onions, and mozzarella. (We'll customize them for vegetarian or kids' preferences.) <br /><br />Sunday:<br />Cream of carrot soup, fresh GF sunflower rolls, and a spinach and red lettuce salad with shaved apple.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />BAKED SALMON with RED POTATO SALAD</span><br />Serves 4<br /><br />1.5 pounds Wild Alaskan Salmon fillets<br />Soy sauce<br />Olive oil<br />Paprika<br />Ginger powder or fresh grated ginger<br />Salt and pepper<br />Optional: 1-3 T butter<br /><br />8-10 medium red potatoes<br />2-3 cups washed baby spinach<br />1 red pepper, chopped into 1/4" pieces<br />Paprika<br /><br />Dressing:<br />Equal parts olive oil, grapeseed oil, and apple cider vinegar (or to taste), to equal about 1.5 cups<br />1/2 teaspoon Dijon mustard<br />Ume plum vinegar, to taste<br />1 T Italian seasoning<br />1 t dill<br />2 T minced onion<br />3 small garlic cloves, pressed<br />Salt and pepper to taste<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Salmon:</span><br />Drizzle olive oil and soy sauce over salmon fillets--enough that you produce adequate sauce to cover the bottom of the baking pan and guarantee a little leftover to spoon over each fillet when serving. Use about 2 parts olive oil to 1 part soy sauce. S<br /><br />Sprinkle a small amount of ginger powder over each fillet (or, even better, use a small amount of fresh grated ginger), sprinkle each fillet liberally with paprika, and finish with a small dash of sea salt and ground pepper. <br /><br />Marinate in the refrigerator until ready to bake. <br /><br />Bake at 400 until salmon is tender and flakes with a fork. <br /><br />Optional: For a more tender fillet, dot the fish with small cubes of butter.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Potato salad:</span><br />I served this cold, but I think it would also be excellent served warm.<br /><br />Cut potatoes into quarters and boil in salted water until tender but not mushy. Drain (and cool if you're serving a cold salad). Add spinach and red pepper and toss thoroughly. <br /><br />For the dressing, follow your intuition and taste buds and use my portions as a guide only. <a href="http://www.edenfoods.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=109330">Ume Plum vinegar</a> is a wonderful flavor to add to this dressing, offering a tangy, salty boost that I love to add to nearly every salad dressing I make, but it is not necessary. You might prefer to skip the onions or garlic or add chopped fresh herbs or substitute chives or green onions--all would be great ideas. I combined the ingredients and shook them in a jar to thoroughly incorporate.<br /><br />Dress to taste. I dressed the potatoes lightly with about 2 tablespoons of dressing. Because of the garlic, this made for a flavorful dish without very much dressing at all--you might prefer more; also consider serving additional dressing at the table for those who prefer it. <br /><br />Sprinkle potatoes with paprika before serving.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-36190188296011500502010-01-27T09:23:00.000-08:002010-01-27T11:11:06.999-08:00Tea and 37,054 wordsIt's a foggy morning. Clouds hang outside our windows and hover beneath the trees. I have a cup of dark, decaf Irish Breakfast tea, and three whole hours to write. The only sound in the house is the hum of our oil furnace. Cora is at her nanny share this morning. I left her at Jane's house, inspecting their very cool kid's kitchen and chatting about what she planned to eat at snack time.<br /><br />Our little boy is kicking. That's the first time I've written those words. <span style="font-style:italic;">Our little boy?</span> We found out about a week ago and it's still surreal. I can't get over it, and I'm thrilled. <br /><br />I've been pretty exhausted this week. I'm finding that I'm just physically more prone to exhaustion in general, and my body will tell me when it's time to stop--usually that means I'm lying in bed with cramps and contractions thinking, "Oh yeah, I'm pregnant. I guess I can't do everything in one day." I'll hit 20 weeks tomorrow--halfway there! <br /><br />So I've been trying to take it easy...and that brings me to a discussion I had with Brian the other night: Since when did making burritos turn into a two-hour dinnertime adventure? <br /><br />Answer: Since I started roasting and pressure cooking the rice with spices and chopped tomatoes, and soaking the beans overnight and pressure cooking them with garlic and cumin seeds, and making refried beans with fried onions, and making tortillas from scratch, and mashing the avocado, and cooking the corn, and cutting the tomatoes and making the salsa, and chopping lettuce. This was after a day running around town and parks with Cora. The meal was delicious but let me tell you, that is a weekend meal. No more Thursday burritos of that caliber for awhile. I was lying on my bed with contractions before dinner even began. I AM PREGNANT. Remind me of that sometime, will ya? Burritos used to be a lot easier when we had canned beans and premade tortillas and a quick pot of rice on the stove.<br /><br />So. The food has been delicious, this budgeting experience has been very valuable toward helping us realign our thinking--how much do we spend? How do we eat? What are our goals when it comes to food? I'm enjoying the whole thing. However, I have to make sure the meals are less labor intensive to avoid going into premature labor, you know what I mean? <span style="font-style:italic;">Simple</span> will be the goal and theme next month--both in preparation and ingredients. I'm excited about it--sort of like a new monthly challenge. I want to try making more meals with fewer flavors, highlighting herbs and sauces and fresh ingredients. I'm working on our weekly menu right now, but I'm not sure when I'll post it. Hopefully soon. I'll do a monthly budget recap next week, too. <br /><br />Yesterday as I was writing, I looked down at the page counter and was surprised to find that I'm nearly to 120 pages. Slowly, slowly goes the tortoise. So, I'm returning to my tea and my 37,054 words, and hope this morning will let me get lost in that adventure until Noon.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-19568890284602776482010-01-18T14:53:00.000-08:002010-01-18T19:41:01.961-08:00Budget Update and Weekly MenuBread is cooling on the stove. The house is filled with the smell of yeast and grain. All the windows are open to let in the sunny air and sounds of birds. It's a beautiful day.<br /><br />My favorite meal this week was creamy parmesan polenta cakes with turkey-artichoke heart pasta sauce. The parmesan polenta recipe came from <span style="font-style:italic;">Moosewood Cookbook</span>. The turkey pasta sauce was inspired by <span style="font-style:italic;">Joy of Cooking.</span> See below for a recipe if you're interested. (No picture yet; I'm still not in the habit of photographing my food, but I'm trying to remember to do so.)<br /><br />We didn't end up making stuffed cabbage. We weren't in the mood for it, so we made a <a href="http://glutenfreegirl.blogspot.com/2010/01/broccoli-winter-slaw.html">fresh broccoli-cabbage slaw</a> inspired by Gluten-Free Girl and The Chef. We didn't have brussels sprouts or Napa cabbage, so I used endive, radicchio, and green cabbage instead, and added julienne carrots (1 carrot) and toasted sunflower seeds (3 TBSP). I followed their dressing recipe exactly. We served it with rice pilaf and sauteed mushrooms. Delicious.<br /><br />Alright, so we're over our budgeting goal for January. I'm at $638 for this month. We ran out of some essentials: butter, almond butter, and eggs. I also bought mozzarella cheese (I'm having a pizza craving) potatoes, olives, apples, and raspberry and blueberry jams.<br /><br />Here's what I'm noticing about our new budget, health goals, and attempt to do a monthly shopping trip: <br /><br />*It has inspired me to cook <span style="font-style:italic;">everything</span> from scratch. So far I haven't opened a package, jar, or can in two weeks, except for the bags of frozen food in the freezer, our almond butter and jam, and some mayonnaise and mustard for a salad (although, as soon as the mayonnaise is gone, I'm going to start making ours from scratch...and I'm thinking I should do the same with the jam). The creative process of cooking from recipes and from instinct has been a total joy.<br /><br />*I have discovered the incredible pleasure of making and eating warm, homemade tortillas. I love the way the dough feels in my hands when I roll it out on a lightly dusted counter top, and the way the tortilla peels off the surface of a hot pan. <br /><br />*I've been baking a great deal: GF breads, cookies, muffins, crumbles. It's part seasonal (I always bake more in the winter than any other time of year), and partly because I've committed to making everything from scratch. <br /><br />*I love dessert. It makes me happy to sit down at the end of a long day and dig into a warm dish of apple-blueberry crumble. Amy over at <a href="http://amyduchene.blogspot.com/">Dish</a> inspired me to make an apple pie that I hope will taste as good as hers looks.<br /><br />*It's easier to create weekly recipes based on what you have, rather than what you plan to buy. My weekly CSA box deliveries shape our weekly menu, in addition to what I know I already have in the cupboards and freezer. <br /><br />*I think we need to bump up our CSA delivery box contents to the Family size, which is designed for a family of four. The Standard size (what we receive now) is designed for two adults and a small child. I thought it would be perfect for us, but because our family lives for good produce and fruit, I think we need a bit more. That will bump us up to $160/month on produce. <br /><br />*Next month I'm going to try going to the store either weekly or biweekly, but limiting my total grocery purchases to $400, if possible, resulting (hopefully) in a total monthly bill of $560.<br /><br />*We've only gone out to eat once this month. Brian has nearly stopped going out to lunch at work. One of the main reasons is that we're keeping our budget at the forefront of our minds. The second biggie is that the meals we're eating are adequately diverse, both in content and level of food prep complexity.<br /><br />*Lastly, I've been conscious about how cooking food from scratch energizes me creatively. I rarely feel depleted after making a good meal.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">This week's CSA delivery will include:</span><br />1 bunch Broccoli <br />1 pound Roma Tomatoes<br />2 Romaine Lettuce <br />2 Yellow Onions * <br />1 Bunched Carrots <br />1 pound Zucchini <br />1 each Collard Greens <br />4 each D'anjou Pears *<br />4 each Navel Oranges <br />4 each Cameo Apples *<br />2 each Hass Avocados <br />4 each Braeburn Apples *<br />*Grown in the Northwest. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Here's our weekly menu:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Monday:</span> <br />Leftover lentil soup, kale and wild rice salad, and fresh-baked bread.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Tuesday:</span><br />Coconut curry with zucchini, red potatoes, onions, and chick peas, served over a bed of quinoa.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Wednesday:</span><br />Burritos with <a href="http://dreamimaginehappen.blogspot.com/2010/01/tortilla-heaven.html">homemade GF flour tortillas</a>, cumin black beans, roasted Mexican brown rice, black olives, lettuce, jack cheese, lime tomato salsa, and guacamole.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Thursday:</span><br />Baked russet potatoes with melted cheddar cheese, spinach, and caramelized yellow onions, and a salad.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Friday:</span><br />Pizza with homemade GF crust, homemade tomato-artichoke-Parmesan sauce, mozzarella, olives, Roma tomatoes, Italian chicken sausage, and onions, and a Caesar salad.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Saturday:</span><br />Homemade GF egg fettuccine with roasted broccoli, roma tomatoes, with a browned butter OR an olive oil herb OR an alfredo-style sauce. (I'm excited to try this, I've never made fresh pasta before.)<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Sunday:</span><br />Baked rice, broiled chicken, and collard greens.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Turkey Pasta Sauce</span><br />Olive oil<br />3-4 small garlic cloves<br />1 lb ground turkey<br />1 large yellow onion<br />3 carrots, diced<br />3-4 small stalks celery, including the tops, diced<br />7-8 fresh or frozen roma tomatoes, with skin and seeds, quartered<br />10 artichoke heart quarters (I used frozen)<br />1/2 cup tomato sauce OR 1-2 TBSP tomato paste<br />1/2-3/4 cup vegetable or chicken broth<br />1 TBSP dried Italian seasoning, or more, to taste<br />1 tsp poultry seasoning, or more, to taste<br />Sea salt and freshly ground pepper to taste<br /><br />Brown the turkey and set aside. Drizzle a generous portion of olive oil in the pan. Add chopped onion and garlic. Saute for several minutes. Add carrots and celery and saute until nearly soft. Add browned turkey, Italian and poultry seasonings, and several generous grounds of fresh pepper. Cook for several minutes before adding tomatoes, broth, tomato sauce or paste, a pinch of salt, and more pepper. Simmer for 2-3 hours, salt to taste, add artichoke hearts, and simmer for about 10-15 more minutes. (Can be ready within an hour, but the flavors mingle best with more time.)Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-4709275294404034642010-01-14T14:06:00.000-08:002010-01-14T14:25:23.837-08:00Seriously cheesy and fiscally fitWe ate some incredibly creamy, cheesy pasta for lunch today. It was the perfect warming meal after a long morning wandering through the wetlands at Magnuson Park and playing in sand and mud puddles. I made a quick white sauce using unsweetened soy milk and flour, and then added chopped Italian chicken sausage, a finely chopped leaf of kale, salt and pepper, and about half a cup of cheddar cheese. Yum! This turned out to be another excellent way to get Cora to eat kale (I have a bit of an obsession with wanting Cora to love green food).<br /><br />Also, I noticed this article on Yahoo this morning: <a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/fiscal-fitness-find-your-biggest-cash-flow-leaks-561007/">Fiscal Fitness: Find Your Biggest Cash Flow Leaks</a>, which reminded me of my ongoing quest to find hidden money for savings and those thousands in student loan repayments.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6256249831442523949.post-59943363498087545132010-01-13T14:02:00.000-08:002010-01-13T14:23:41.863-08:00Quiet dayThis pregnancy has been one marked more frequently by fatigue, cramping, and spotting. Yesterday night I felt exhausted and crampy and sure enough by the end of the day I was spotting again. Not a lot, but it stresses me out for obvious reasons. Every time it happens I worry--even just a tiny bit--that this is the moment when the beautiful pregnancy is signaling that it's almost over. That said, it helps that this is my fourth or fifth time spotting with this pregnancy, and I can still feel the baby kicking.<br /><br />I decided to make it an easy day, as low-key as possible. Cora and I ended up sipping chamomile tea after breakfast, painting at her easel in the kitchen, playing with her dollhouse (which today mainly meant walking the paper dollhouse dog on a long leash around the house) and catching a break of sun and springlike weather in the backyard. We ate a leisurely lunch of burritos stuffed with chicken, kale, corn, olives, and cheese (she claimed she didn't like the kale but she ate it anyway) and then sat back on the couch under a blanket and read 10 stories. <br /><br />She's battling sleep right now. Even though I'm tired, I'm downstairs doing this instead of trying to nap in the next-door room. Vegetable broth is cooking on the stove and lentils are soaking for tonight's soup. We'll bake a new GF sandwich bread this afternoon when she's done napping.<br /><br />My sister sent me home the other day with several books, and I'm well into <span style="font-style:italic;">The People of the Book</span>, by Geraldine Brooks, which is proving to be the perfect combination of mystery, adventure, and culture for cozy January nights.<br /><br />These mild, Northwest mid-winter sunbreaks confuse our plants. I noticed today that, along with a million weeds, we have bluebells pushing through the ground. Bluebells in January? The earth is soft and everything smells rich. Cora and I talked about our apple and pear trees and the site for our garden (I'm so excited to start growing food!), and wandered around studying birds and rocks and moss. <br /><br />I think all my pregnancy hormones have catapulted me into a relative state of domestic bliss. This is nothing like the wanderlust I felt last year. I've never felt so much contentment from cooking and quiet afternoons of writing. <br /><br />Now if only the little lady would fall asleep and I could write a few paragraphs of my story.Dream. Imagine. Happenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02350526269958248380noreply@blogger.com0