Blast those mind-altering malls

I don't like malls--not in the sun, not in the rain, not in the dark or when in pain.

Rarely do I understand the phrase "shopping therapy." Today, if there was something that I should have gained from the experience, I was somehow left off the list.

I just became really grumpy.

I just went to return a bra that didn't fit, and I ended up getting SUCKED IN. Suddenly, I wanted to be insanely rich. I wanted to run out and spend thousands on a new wardrobe and new furniture for each room of the house and new stoneware for the kitchen. I wanted a FLAT stomach, the kind that requires a lot of crunches and very few crunchy chips. I remembered the income I used to bring in each month and I was swept up in this vision of all the things I would buy--new undergarments, new shoes, new hair. I wanted to wander off with all the clothes in Ann Taylor Loft.

My priorities were askew.

When faced with three levels of Nordstrom, I suddenly thought about my old job. I imagined going back to work and spending all that money on the kinds of things I just really don't NEED.

None of us do. But every time you buy one of those new things, you feel like you deserve it, you feel like it's necessary for your self-esteem, you feel like those shorts will make the whole summer more summery, you feel like it's just because your clothes shrunk in your new dryer, not because you need to lose a tad more weight around your middle. It's all about Pretty Woman sitting there while the salespeople bring her box after box of iconic shoes.

The problem, I have determined, is that I am not doing enough of my own writing. I'm not being creative enough. My brain is stagnating. I'm not writing stories. So all the internal stuff is going to waste, and my mind is beginning to fall prey to the humdrum status quo. All it took was a day at the spa and a new expensive bra for my birthday and it was like someone gave me a bit of crack and said, here you go, here's a taste of THINGS.

You know what I mean? Hey, I'm not saying we don't all enjoy and benefit from beautiful things. I'm not advocating that we bring the economy to a grinding halt by boycotting apparel stores. But it is so much better, me thinks, to wander around in an old T-shirt and catalogue the wildlife in our backyard or discover a new park than to spend time breathing that mind-altering mall air.

Warren Buffet says that if you can't imagine having it for 10 years, you shouldn't spend $10 on it. I have squandered so many $10s in my lifetime on useless things.